A Conversation

This is a conversation between a Boyfriend and his Girlfriend.

BF: Darling, my Dad says that i should go to UK to study.
GF: If ur day says so, then go ahead.
BF: On the other hand, my Mum says that i should go to Australia instead.
GF: Maybe ur mum is right.
BF: But, my Granfather suggested China.
GF: China is also a good place to study.
BF: If, my Grandmother was around, she will definitely say Singapore.
GF: *speechless*

BF: Darling, why are u so quiet, my Sister says that it's not good to keep quiet u know.
GF: I'm not ur sister right?
BF: But my 2nd Sister also agrees with my 1st Sister about that matter, so i guess, it applies to all girls right?
GF: *continues to be speechless*

BF: Darling, my Brother says that we should go catch a movie.
GF: I dont feel like going.

The conversation btwn the couple lasted for a few hours. With the guy kept on telling about wat others think about this and tht , until this happened.

*GF gets pissed off*
GF: Do u realise that the whole day; all you talk about is wat ppl think about this n tht. Arent u MAN enough to have ur own opinions on things?! Now, i wanna listen to wat u have to say from urself , not from other ppl's point of views.
BF: Well, i do have these words of mine........ I .LOVE..YOU!

bla bla bla bla... They lived happily ever after.. +)

Math time.

Differentiate X in terms of X
Result: 1
Integrate X in terms of X
Result: X square/ 2

Differentiate LOVE in terms of LOVE
Result: HEART BREAK.
Integrate LOVE in terms of LOVE
Result: EVER LASTING LOVE.

Differentiate LIFE in terms of LIFE
Result: LIFELESS.
Integrate LIFE in terms of LIFE.
Result: FULL OF LIFE.

Differentiate A COUPLE in terms of A COUPLE
Result: BREAK UP.
Integrate A COUPLE in terms of A COUPLE.
Result: A MARRIED COUPLE.

Differentiate A FERTILIZED EGG in terms of A FERTILIZED EGG
Result: NO BABY.
Integrate A FERTILIZED EGG in terms of A FERTILIZED EGG.
Result: TWINS.

Differentiate I LOVE YOU in terms of I LOVE YOU
Result: I DONT LOVE YOU ANYMORE.
Integrate I LOVE YOU in terms of I LOVE YOU
Result: I LOVE YOU FOREVER!

....There are many more examples...

As u can see, when we differentiate things, we will get something negative as a result.
Why dont we all stop differentiating between one and another ?
Instead, practice integration.
And we will all gain positive results.
Live in INTEGRITY .

Everyone as one, --> 1 MALAYSIA.

When U Are Scared Of Ghost.

Wat u do when u cant sleep at night, afraid that hantu might appear suddenly beside on ur bed??!
U'll do this!

U put all the pillows u can find around, n place them beside of u like a fort, so that hantu got no place to lie down beside of u.
Or
So that u cant see them, because they are blocked by the fort u built?
Like the one below here , is an example.




Well, that was wat i did when i was young.
Maybe i was a very good fort builder, so i managed to sleep n block the hantuS.
=)

Lizard

Lizards are dam nice to be..

They can stick on the wall like spider-man does.
Can hang upside down summor.
Natural born killers.
(Imagine this, u wake up middle of the night from a giler nightmare, u go to the toilet pee, u pee halfway, a bloody lizard drops on ur .... , can kena heart attack lar)

They summor can 'release' their tails suka-suka, then grow them back. U try releasing ur tongue n see, all u gain is the art to use sign language.

Sometimes, they sengaja play dropping game. They will climb up the ceiling and drop, and then do the same thing like 4-5 times, quite fun right?? Humans definitely cannot do it.

Plus, they can just shit anywhere , drop one here, drop one there.
Not to say humans cannot do it, but, we need tissue or water to clean summor, they dont.

Lastly, lizards get super hero called after them , Cicak-Man. Why we don have Human-Man???



For ur info, this little cute thing here almost made me drop my phone, fall down, hit my head,injured my leg, cry like small boy, waste money going to medical center, make my mother worry, etc...

I was trying to get a picture of it, tht fella, should be camera shy type, not those camwhore ones, came charging after me.

And, i think it's either tht fella's brother or sister always play the dropping game during midnights when i use the toilet.

Wanna See?

Wanna see einsteins of Malaysia, Klang at least.





Here are the story of this two N*RDS.
Their father, brought them along to buy decorative lights for CNY.
But,
The moment they reached the 'shop' place, they were holding books, they stand at one corner and started reading their 'books' and don even bother to help their poor father to choose lights.
See lar, this kind of ppl also got??
I'm sure they at home play DOTA only, never touch wat so ever books also.(No offence to Dota playing ppl k, i had to choose an example)
Come out with father only, Pura-Pura reading books.

The point of this is: Don have to read so much wan, the most u'll score in SPM also, 10 or 11 or 12 or 13 A's only. Better get a life, be useful sons and help ur poor dad choose lights, at least , u wont go to hell for not doing so..=)

Did U Notice?

As everyone know, the Sultan of Johor, Sultan Iskandar Ibni Almarhum Sultan Ismail passed away at 7.15pm on 22nd of January 2010.

To mourn his loss, most radio stations including h*tz.fm played sentimental songs from midnight of 22 Jan till most of 23 Jan.

I don blame them for doing that, i'm quite glad that they did it actually, coz, after all, he is one of the Sultan's of this country.

BUT,

The best part is, as it strikes 12am 24 Jan, h*t.z, as usual on saturday midnights, will play song of clubs, DJ mixes etc..
It's quite funny to see how it changes from sentimental songs to BOOM BOOM BOOM!!

So, we no longer mourn the ruler's death..?
=)

Random

Refer to stupid ppl using this:

Brain take and put in the ass,
Shit take and put in the head ,
Use the shit to do the thinking,
All this results in palia thinking.

Two Is Better Than One.

Two Is Better Than One =)

Imagine having only one hand?

Picture ur car with only one pair of tyre?

Watch TV with only one eye?

A Mouse with only right click, no left click?

Shoes with only one side?

KLCC with only one tower? It will become another KL tower, no so special after all.

Listening to music with only one side of the earphone (It might be normal to many, just take the normal cases k)

Watching football with only one team playing against no opponent?

Even female's Br*ast & Ovar*es come in two's.

And not forgetting, male's test*cles come in two's also.

Lastly, having a partner is definitely better than being alone .

OR

Having Three is better than Two.

OR

Having Four is better than Three.

=)

In time to come, u'll get ppl singing Three is Better Than Two.

Think About It?

Wanna Be Successful In The Future?

Aim for the sky?

So easy to reach the sky meh, no one can do it.

Lie ur way through?

Can bluff ppl also cannot bluff own self.

Snatch ppl's career?

A snatch thief isn't that successful.

Outsmart ppl?

There's always Einstein!

Call ppl stupid and urself smart?

U also go to school, so look at urself.

Discriminate ppl?

Ppl also got feelings wan k!

Buy ur way through?

Haven become successful, where got money to buy.

Inherit Father's money?

I'm sure if ur dad see's u liddat, he will think many times before doing so.

Study hard and work urself through?

Other ppl will cheat n push u down.

Beg for success?

Mind as well, take a box, and sit by the road , wear sunglasses ,pretend to be blind n start singing.

The real solution is:

Take it this way, take each step that u dont fail as a success.

N A quote by a lecturer( Follow the flow)

Thts the way so success!

Go Listen

To those ppl who are having stress of exams, emo-ing time, etc....

One solution:

Go listen to CNY songs now!

Guarantee, wat shit also wont feel d, except for the 'Mood'.

Go try!!

In Uniten

This happened in Uniten ( story might differ from real story a bit)

A couple was caught having *heavenly time* in the car by a security guard.

Couple: Ahhh... Kuat lagi, kuat lagi. Ahhh.... Wah, ketatnya!!

Guard: Eh, u dua buat apa dalam kereta. Owh!! Main ye!! Mari sekarang, ikut saya pergi pintu depan, saya nak tulis report.

Couple: Mati lar kali ni, kena kahwin.. ( sekarang, saya akan pandu laju laju lari dari guard)

( tht stupid guy fail to realise tht inside uniten got 10++ bums, how to drive fast)

* Reaching front gate*

Guards: EH!! U , Berhenti!! * main gate closes*

Next, the couple drove as fast as possible n bang the main gate down. During tht 'banging' , a guard was knocked down, n he got injured quite badly n now the guard has passed away.

See, all this maksiat ppl.

Sorry to say this, it was a malay couple, the girl was wearing tudung summor *she thought wear tudung, ppl cannot see u having sex meh?* ( i'm sure u ppl guessed it, chinese all where got do in car wan, go hotel lar, dah lar inside Uniten got Residence hotel, so many star)

Uniten's main slogan --- *Uniten Generates Professional*

New slogan --- * Uniten Generates Sexual Couples Come Killers*

Actually

The word actually is very special word

Actually=What If=If

When ppl say actually, they surely will follow on with their own point of view , right?

Then the other person who is listening will also use actually to prove their point.

So, which actually is actually the actual point?

Actually, i don really know wat point am i proving, the actual fact is that many ppl use actually then it goes on to many actuallys after tht.. hahaha!!

Try this:

Actually, I am quite stupid.

But then , actually, I am not so stupid because I am quite smart.

And my mother also says that I am actually quite smart, but my dog actually barks at me and tell me that I am stupid.

So, the real actually is that I am quite stupid + smart..

=)

Lets say 'NO' to actually. N we just say wat we wanna say..i guess its better.

Warning!!

Pls think before u wanna see this post, its something not very nice.

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This is google translator. Try it out.

(From English to Hokkien)

Pussy - Cibai

Penis - Lancau

Fuck ur mother pussy - Kan nin na bu a cibai

(Cantonese to English)

Tiew lei - Fuck U

Tiew lei lou mou - Fuck Ur Mother

Tiew lei lou mou ham ka chan - Fuck Ur Mother , Family All Die?

(English to Tamil)

Pussy - Pundek

Penis - Kunji

Last One( Translate urself )

--> Ini adalah satu penipuan, bolehlar cuba kalau nak, tapi , keputusan tidak akan keluar. Maaf atas bahasa yang tak sopan.

Currently

Currently,

The world's population ratio of girls to guys (simplified)

Girls 2.2 million : Guys 2.0 million.

So, this leads to some opinions.

Opinion 1:

Why are guys more HAMSAP than girls??

Because, we guys know tht our population is lower.

So, we have to take the initiative to be more hamsap , so we can have a chance of increasing our numbers.

If we would to wait for girls, to take the initiative, we will all die and later face extinction.

(Girls, pls don blame us guys, we have no choice)

Opinion 2:

Guys cannot have multiple girlfriends, BUT, girls can have a few boyfriends at once.

All this is due to the population ratio....

=)

Future

Guy A: Eh, faster see, hot chick , hot chick. I surely one day wanna go after one chick like tht, a chunted one.

Guy B: Pls lar u, go after so chunted one for wat? Next time old d also all become lembik wert.

Guy A: Still; i want to want one hot one. Since u so smart in saying lembik all nvm right, now u go for one lembik one n see, see u want anot?

(This is happening everywhere, we are only 'humans'!, don blame us )

Chinese

Quote by a feng shui fella:

Orang cina rambut sahaja lurus,

Yang lain semua tak lurus.

That means,

The ones with curly hair are straight ppl?

What if,

They have both straight hair and also curly ones in certain parts......

Then how??

Welding

We had this welding lab session.

As many may know, ppl dont normally look at the light during welding because 'its dangerous'.

But But, at times , u do actually 'accidentally see it'.

N the feeling is like, giler!

For guys, its like reaching climax, for girls, i have no idea how would they feel.

The moment the sampat bright light reaches ur eyes, its like taking a type of drug, ur eyes will just go KU-KU.

Try it! =)

Mandi

U are bathing.

Pitbull's song is playing and u can hear it from where u are bathing.

U start dancing as though ur're in a club.

Next thing u know it, u get out from the toilet, u head for ur laptop and u can find ur naked showering video on Youtube called bathing scandal...

Isn't that fun? =)

(If u guys happen to come across my video one day , pls don watch k)

What Do U Do?

What do u do?

When u are supposed to wake up at 6, and u did it at 7.

U bathe, leave home, drive until Aeon, its 7.30 and u have to reach kajang at 8?

(Don bluff urself anymore, u wont reach in time)

U make a U-turn, msg friends and u go back Sleep!

The Beginning!

=)

After years of stalking ppl , i have finally decided to do one myself !

As many may know, i am a noisy person, so, noise is all i make, no hard feelings to all .

There wont be much emo-ing here as i dont really emo so, just plain craps will be posted here.

So, if u wanna read then just read lar k..

Till i get something to write about ...

Tata!