A Small Lil Room

In this Small Lil Room of mine.

I have 3 FANS! THREE FANS!

U know WHY I have so many fans??!

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Because!

I'm a HOT! HOT! HOT! guy.

*Okie okie, u all must be puking*

The real reason is,

I'm still a HOT! HOT! HOT! guy!

hahahaha!

*okie lar okie lar, sorry for all the bullshits k*

The REAL REAL REAL reason is,

The weather outside is very HOT nowadays.

Three Fans also not enough to COOL off!

Anyways! I'M STILL A HOT! HOT! HOT! Guy k!

=)

Dirty Teachings In Fast Food Restaurants.

If u eat fast food alot,

U should know what is this.

If u are old enough,

&

Got a dirty enough mind.

U should know what is this.

Open UP ur mind!

SEE!!

What kids nowadays will learn.

A 4 year old boy will ask his mother.

" GONCANG what mummy? my TINY birdie??? "

=)

P/S: dont eat so much fast food k! will die fast! MSG!

Difference When U Eat In Mamak & Dine In Nice Restaurants

A plate of Fried Rice in a NICE Restaurant is RM12

A plate of Fried Rice in a Mamak Stall is RM4.

A difference of multiples of 3 times.

U know WHY??!

These are the reasons :-

1. The tables in the Restaurant is so CLEAN, even if ur food drop on the table, u can SCOOP it back to eat it.

Not only scoop back, u can practically LICK it from the table.

BUT,

If ur food happened to drop on the table of Mamak, Even if i wash and cook again, U wont eat!

2. When u enter a Nice Restaurant, u will get GREETINGS!

BUT,

In a Mamak Stall, all u get from the workers are STARES that means * tengok apa LANC*U*

3. In a Nice Restaurant, u get to be a good CITIZEN and pay for 5% GOVERNMENT TAX.

BUT,

In a Mamak Stall, U will be a LOUSY CITIZEN because u dont pay TAX!

(Konnonnya Malaysian Citizen, Celebrate Merdeka, Malaysia Day summor)

4. In a Nice Restaurant, the workers will feel TREASURED! because, u pay them 10% Service Charge.

BUT,

In a Mamak Stall, they are not TREASURED, so, U MIGHT FIND SALIVA in ur FOODS!

5. In a Nice Restaurant, u Wont GET LUNG CANCER, because ppl dont smoke there.

BUT,

In a Mamak Stall, all u get is CHIMNEYS!

6. A RM12 Fried Rice got PORK!

BUT,

A RM4 Fried Rice got PORK-LESS!

So,

The High End, Nice Restaurant WINS!

=)

Maids Become Part of the Family

I'm sure most of u people got maid at home, some even maidS.

Well,

My maid is here for 2 years already.

She's leaving tmr back to her home, Cambodia.

Sadly,

She wont be returning because she has to take care of her children.

Now now,

My point is,

After having someone in ur hse for two years,

They sorta become part of the family.

I had to leave home today,

Therefore, wont be sending her off.

She knew about it,

This was what she told me.

" Han Jien, U going study today?..... Goodbye..... *she pauses for a while* FOREVER "

When she said Forever, I was like, Pls dont get emo k, Yes Yes, I am sad that u are leaving too.

Overall,

She's a nice maid.

She knows how to differentiate $ US Dollars $ between the fake ones and real ones.

She MISS CALLS me at times, ( SAMPART WAN )

She finishes all the MAGGI MEE at home and deny even eating any! ;)

I wanted to teach her to scold words like CiBai lar, Fuck lar, etc.. so she can use them in Cambodia ( but never got the chance to do it)

Bye-Bye Maid.... forever....

=(

P/S : Treat ur maid good.

Nasty Cinema Worker

I was watching Resident Evil with a few friends.

We went in early and sat in the cinema.

They were still showing advertisements and people were still walking in.

Then,

A worker ( with his big torchlight walked in)

He happened to be my former school classmate.

So,

We said Hi & stuff.

&

The following happened.

ME : So, what u doing inside here?

Worker Friend : I finding for one UNDERAGE girl inside here. ( The movie was 18+). But dont know where the small kid went.

ME : OH! There! There! the small girl there *points towards the poor little girl*.

Worker Friend : OK! OK! I wanna go catch her. *Walks towards the small girl, talk talk talk, then ASKS HER TO GO OUT!*

Too Bad for the little girl (thanks to the worker & Han Jien),

I guessed, her money went down the DRAIN!

Cinema Workers are the NASTIEST of People!

=)

Dont Judge the Quantity by It's Cover

When u buy Sweets,
Don't just look at the outer BOX n say,

'Wah! Very big, surely got alot of Sweets inside, BUY! BUY! BUY!'

Sometimes,
U will be BULLSHIT-TED by the Boxes!
















See!
Big BOX! Surely alot of Sweets inside! YUM YUM!


But then,
When U open the box,
U get this!































See!
How small is the packet of sweets inside.

So,
Next time,
When u go buy sweets.
Ask the PENIPU seller,
To open up the box, if the sweets are LESSER THAN HALF of the outer box.
Insist on CHEAPER PRICE!

It's like, A Man Who Looks very MANLY outside, but has ONLY one Ball inside.

A Pretty, Hot Lady with ONE BALL?? No No, with one B*EAST.

=)

Nasty Small Kids

Recently,
A FORM 3 girl sent a message to me.
All I did was just call her 'SAKAI'.
That also, coz her name starts from 'S'.
U should know who u are, Sakai!

&

This is the reply I got from her.
(exact same words)

" Eh blow, you cm my hse the next time, i make sure you go bck without penis. Chicken "

See lar,
Nowadays,
Children are all like that.
Young young edi, wanna take ppl's penis lar, call ppl BLOW lar.

Go buy a D*LDO lar if wanna use,
Dont keep a broken penis, cannot use wan.
Dont they teach this in School!

=)

Cheeky-Ness!

Went for a lil shopping with mummy today.

We entered a shop.

As we were looking at somethings.

A Malay Guy approached us.

Out of no where,

Mummy suddenly tells me,

'Son, I'm hungry lar, Lets go EAT!'

Then i replied,

'Mum, are u sure u wanna say that RIGHT 'NOW'?

Then she realised WHO was attending to us!

*Now I know, where all my CHEEKY-Ness comes from*

=)

AM to PM

All of u know,

AM means morning,

PM means afternoon, evening & night right.

Have u ever wondered what AM & PM stands for??

It's actually,

AM - After Midnight = Morning.

PM - Pre Midnight = Afternoon, Evening and Night.

Actually,

The creators of those terms wanted to add another term.

DM - During Midnight = Midnight.

But, they were afraid of confusing the later generations, which is now.

*This is all just BULLSHIT, I made it up*

Google up the real meaning . AM = ANTE MERIDEMIEM. PM = POST MERIDIEM.

I have no idea what do they mean!

=)

Hot Weather

One very hot day,

We were going to catch a movie.

A friend says this 'I wanna go back change to short pants, u see the bloody weather, so hot'

So,

We all went in shorts DUE to the HOT WEATHER!

During the movie,

all 3 of us, were SHIVERING as though we went to the NORTH POLE.

Learn this,

Weather outside CLASHES with the TEMPERATURES in the CINEMA!

When its HOTTER outside, it gets FREEZING inside.

=)

Ppl's Hidden Meaning

Hey,

Ur're quite Smart sometimes.

(Means ur're Stupid most of the time)

(So, please dont be happy when people say that)

=)

A Message From SMART TAG to Dad To Son!

One fine day,

While Queuing to pay at a TOL.

Son Asked his Father :-

Son: Papa, kenapa papa tak beli Touch & Go? Tak payah kita tunggu lama sangat.

Papa: Anakku, dalam hidup, kita tak boleh SENTUH & PERGI sesuka hati, apabila kita

SENTUH, kita kena BERTANGGUNGJAWAB. Seperti PAPA & MAMA, setelah

PAPA SENTUH MAMA, PAPA kena bertanggungjawab ke atas MAMA! Faham anakku?

Son: Faham PAPA, saya kena jadi seorang yang BERTANGGUNGJAWAB!

*after 5 mins, still queuing up*

Son: Papa, kenapa papa tak beli SMART TAG?

Papa: *Starts to EMO * Anakku, SMART TAG untuk orang yang 'SMART' saje, Papa bukan seorang yang Smart. Papa belajar sampai Tadika, itu pun untuk 3 hari saje. Papa belajar 'A' sampai 'E' saje, nak mula 'F', Papa sudah FAIL! FUCK! kemudian keluar. Oleh itu, Anakku, belajar A sampai Z dan jadi seorang yang SMART! boleh lah guna SMART TAG!

Son: OK PAPA! saya janji akan belajar A sampai Z!

Sebenarnya, mereka berdua sedang menaiki MOTOSIKAL!

Nampaknya, PAPA memang FAIL dalam HIDUP!

Menunggang MOTOSIKAL pun nak BAYAR TOL!

=)

Don't Be Known To Lecturers!

I have this one lecturer who likes to PICK on me all the time!

Every class,

He will go like

" TEH, bla bla bla bla "

Shit! it's not good to have ur name known.

We had this Mid Term Test of that Subject.

I had this WONDERFUL plan with one of my friend to COPY .

We even kept one empty paper each so we can pass to each other in between.

We even planned nicely, I study one part, he study one part, then we can exchange answers when required.

Entered the hall,

I purposely sit behind my friend.

Plan will be all perfectly carried out.

Ngam Ngam, there was an empty seat behind me.

When the paper was about to start.

That LECTURER, came to me.

" TEH, move one seat behind! "

I was like WTF! KNS LAR U!

Of all time to call my name, u call me now, to do this!

I went on doing the TEST all alone!

Lesson: Please, HAVE HARD TO CALL NAMES like TinkyWhoLaLaLa! At least, lecturers wont remember ur name!

=)