MALAYSIA!

It's Independence Day!

This ONE is for u, Our Country!

1st :-

Differentiate X in terms of X
Result: 1
Integrate X in terms of X
Result: X square/ 2

Differentiate LOVE in terms of LOVE
Result: HEART BREAK.
Integrate LOVE in terms of LOVE
Result: EVER LASTING LOVE.

Differentiate LIFE in terms of LIFE
Result: LIFELESS.
Integrate LIFE in terms of LIFE.
Result: FULL OF LIFE.

Differentiate A COUPLE in terms of A COUPLE
Result: BREAK UP.
Integrate A COUPLE in terms of A COUPLE.
Result: A MARRIED COUPLE.

Differentiate A FERTILIZED EGG in terms of A FERTILIZED EGG
Result: NO BABY.
Integrate A FERTILIZED EGG in terms of A FERTILIZED EGG.
Result: TWINS.

Differentiate I LOVE YOU in terms of I LOVE YOU
Result: I DONT LOVE YOU ANYMORE.
Integrate I LOVE YOU in terms of I LOVE YOU
Result: I LOVE YOU FOREVER!

....There are many more examples...

As u can see, when we differentiate things, we will get something negative as a result.
Why dont we all stop differentiating between one and another ?
Instead, practice integration.
And we will all gain positive results.
Live in INTEGRITY .

Everyone as one, 1 MALAYSIA.

(If this seems familiar to some, I posted it before)

2nd :-

M - Malay, Indian, Chinese

A - and Others

L - Living

A - Altogether

Y - Young & Old, Fat & Thin, Black & White & Yellow

S - Simultaneously

I - In

A - AMAN!

There will always be Racism everywhere!

Even if we dont speak our own language, people will see the Colour of our skin.

I hope everyone go Colour Blind or everything go into Darkness,

So that,

We can stop judging through Colours

&

See all AS ONE!

WITHOUT COLOURS!

That is the colour of MALAYSIA!

HAPPY MERDEKA PEOPLE OF MALAYSIA! & HAPPY 1 MALAYSIA!

China oh China!

China! China! China!

U made so many things already, EVERYTHING made in China!

Global Economy also u Top already!

Mining Explosion! also u have the MOST.

Expo also u have the BEST!

Although my ancestors come from ur place.

Not Paiseh meh, Win everything in BADMINTON?

Our Independence Day coming already, at least lar, Let us have the Have some PRESENT from u?

Which is, LOSE lar in Badminton to MALAYSIA!

=)

P/S: Dont get me wrong k! China & Malaysia are good countries. Same goes with any other country.

Wanna See an Accident?

Try seeing the following picture.

It's an actual incident,

&

I was in it.

See MY NAME on that car,

Yes, I was there k!

The idiot came from behind, SPEEDING like hell

&

Overtake OUT & IN!

While going in,

He somehow lost control,

His car went straight for the POOR MOTORCYCLIST.

BANG BE-DE-BANG BA-DA BOOM!

He hit the man,

&

The man FLEW! *I saw him flying*

Then,

The car,

Head for TREES ( The green bushy things u see on the picture)

He BANGED them into pieces,

Then,

He crossed the opposite road, and to the GRASSES!

There were smokes from the soil and others.

It all happened so quick,

I was kinda STUNNED for a while,

It felt as tho,

I was T*M CRUISE in an action movie!

Serious shit,

It was super scary, seeing that poor man flying. (Although is was kinda cool to see someone fly)

Trust me,

This really happened,

I CROSS MY HEART!

P/S: Please drive carefully people, & wear ur SEAT BELTS! i didnt put my seat belts on when the whole thing happened, N I Promise to put it on all the time after that!

I Have a Driver in the Class

=)

Handsome!

Went swimming today ( Saturday)

&

The following event happened in Mandarin.

A dad was trying to persuade his son ( 4 years old) to wear swimming cap.

( I was standing behind them)

That lil boy's sister ( maybe 6 years old ) said this to her younger brother to persuade him as well.

" Everyone also wear cap, don't have to be shy, SEE! the koko behind also wear, SEE! So Handsome"

I gave a huge smile =)

Eventually, the lil boy didn't wear.

Maybe these were the reasons :-

- That koko wear edi, so handsome, i wear surely not handsome wan.

- That koko wear edi, so handsome, i wear surely not handsome wan.

- That koko wear edi, so handsome, i wear surely not handsome wan.

Actually! that is the only reason, why he didnt want to wear! hahaha!!

P/S: Wearing cap prevents ur hair from becoming plastic k!

=)

Peekaboo!

Peekaboo is used to shocking, surprising, scare people.

The actual meaning behind it is -

PEEKABOO = PICK A BOOB!

So,

Girls, please do not go to a guy n say PEEKABOO! Coz, u will get hands coming to either ur LEFT one or RIGHT one!

Guys, if a girl say PEEKABOO to u, please be kind enough and reply their REQUEST!

Happy PEEKABOO-ING!

=)

Toilet

I happened to enter the toilet at 2.15pm today ( Wednesday)

&

I saw a Guy which is 'supposedly fasting' Peeing.

and it's 2.15pm

As I can recall,

The last time he 'supposed' to drink water was 5 something AM.

Max,

he would have PEE-ED it out by 9 or 10 AM!

He even took a long long time peeing.

I went in,

He started,

I use the toilet finish edi,

He still Pee-ing!

It's either:-

My watch showed the wrong time.

My pre-school teachers didnt taught me well in reading time.

He didnt Fast.

He has Intestines in the lengths of KILOMETERS!

OR

He's not a HUMAN! Since we all know it's the HANTU MONTH now!

=)

The World We Live In!

The world we live in today is full or CRAP-NESS.

From things,

To animals,

To humans,

To even CARTOON CHARACTERS!

The World is so DOWN-UPSIDE that our dear friend POOH decided to show some of OO to people!

=)

Sunday!

On Sunday,

I attended a friend's farewell party.

He's an indian guy,

So,

His relatives and friends were there.

This thing happened.

I went to the toilet,

When i came out,

A small indian boy (probably his cousin, maybe 6 years old), he saw me.

Then he asked me this.

Boy: *Stares at me AMAZED* U Chinese?!

HJ: *Shit, I dont look like Chinese?* Yea, I'm chinese. Wats up?

Boy: I know CHINESE!

HJ: Oh, u mean u know how to speak Chinese/Mandarin?

Boy: Yes, I know speak Man--darin.

HJ: *Shit, even indians know mandarin n i dont, dam paiseh* Oh, okay, speak some mandarin to me then.

Boy: *Looks LOST* Er er er, wait ar! *Runs away*

HJ: *This fella surely BULL-SHITTING ME WAN*

Boy RETURNS!

HJ: So, u know wat to say edi?

Boy: YES! LEI POK KAI! ( U POK KAI)

HJ: * WTH, Luckily he's a small boy, if not, I'll surely say F*** U! , Instead, i said* That's not mandarin lil boy, That's CANTONESE!

Boy EMOS and walk off.

I'm kinda happy that this happened, THAT MEANS, WE'RE 1MALAYSIA!

=)

Current ISSUE!

If u notice,

Currently,

The news that are making the headlines is the ones regarding the 'DISPOSING of Babies'.

It's like,

Day by day, it gets more.

How can such people exists?

They carry a living human inside them for 9MONTHS!

&

They just 'NICELY' put the newborn in rubbish dumps behind some Tmn Perumahan.

Such Mothers( Lets not call them mothers, they dont fit that name, such ANIMALS)

should just die by getting HIT by a CAR, fall into a drain and die or anything that kills them.

Each time I pass by a rubbish Dump, I wonder to myself,

Will I hear a baby crying inside?!

ACTUALLY,

All of this occurs because there is NO SEX EDUCATION in our education system.

All those that throw away their babies, went through this story line :-

Once upon a time,

Boy X and Girl Y are a couple together,

They didnt know wat is sex,

They THOUGHT babies are made through hatching of an egg ( LIKE THE CHICKENS, BIRDS)

So,

They POKE here, POKE there as they like,

SINCE, they dont know wat is sex.

They guy started POKING all the Holes of the girls using his 'WEAPON' including the girl's ears, nose, eyes, mouths and also the *hole on somewhere over the RAINBOWS* ( understand it urself)

BLA BLA BLA,

After a while,

The girl's stomach became BIGGER & BIGGER.

She thought that she was getting FATTER due to all the 'White MAYONNAISE' that her Boyfriend kept feeding her!

As time pass,

9 months!

BOOM BOOM POW!

She released something from her body!

*Remember that they think babies come from Hatching of eggs*

So, they thought that that 'baby' was an ALIEN.

They panicked,

&

They decided to BORROW the baby to the RUBBISH DUMP!

END OF STORY!

My main point is : SEX EDUCATION IS VERY IMPORTANT, Not to view it as the DIRTY side, but to EDUCATE people that SEX=BABIES! NOT Hatching of Eggs = BABIES!

&

Also, Don't poke the ears!

=)

Studying!

I think this happens to many many many people.

Whenever we study for a certain subject,

We will tackle questions.

When we are unable to SOLVE the questions,

We will decide to say that,

HAIYA, the question wont come out in exams wan lar.

But then, the next day, that particular question will come out in exam.

Then, we will say, SHIT LAR, i saw this question but I cannot solve.

It's like finding a 100 RINGGIT note on the floor and never take it, then when ur friend take it, u say, I just now saw that note already!

MORAL OF THE STORY: Dont Bluff urself!

=)

2am!

It's 2am in the morning.

The rain outside is pouring like all men and women PEEING all at once.

U have to study till the sun comes up

Because u have tons of exams, test, quizzes coming ahead.

The cold air is calling u to ur blanket on the bed.

The bed is MOANING for u to lay on her.

The bolster is BEGGING u to cuddle with her.

Ur body wants to fulfill all their WISHES.

BUT,

Ur books keep on SCREAMING for u.

Good Grades make ur mouth go WATERY.

This is wat to do!

It really works!

To satisfy everything!

Hug the Bolster 1 HAND,

Cover Half of ur body with the Blanket,

Put the Pillow on One Half of ur Head,

Close 1 eye ( Means One eye sleeping),

Rest half of ur Brain

The other eye continue studying,

The other hand continue writing,

The other half of the brain continue INPUTING!

After an HOUR doing that,

Change to the other side.

At this rate, U can REST and STAY FRESH!

HAPPY STUDYING!

=)

Resistivity

One day, during Electrical Measurement Lab.

After completing my lab activities.

I decided to do some EXTRA stuffs to kill time.

&

I found out that we, orangs, HUMANS have RESISTANCE inside of us!

SEE! There are numbers and OHMS!

So, that means, we can go outside on a RAINY DAY and do the RAIN DANCE and we wont get ELECTROCUTED!

&

We guys can RESIST TEMPTATIONS from STRIPPERS, DOTA GAMES, BURGERS, BAK KUT TEH'S etc..

&

U girls CAN RESIST SHOPPING, JUSTIN 'BIBIR', TWILIGHT, KOREAN SUPERSTARS etc..

BUT,

I found out another FACT! Which Is-

U, YES U! Have NOT ENOUGH RESISTIVITY TO RESIST MY BLOG RIGHT??!

&

I have to admit, I don't have enough RESISTIVITY to resist u ppl too

=))

Besides that,

We can use An electrical board thingy, some wires, a few resistant to make SOMETHINGS!

SEE! MA NAME!

Too bad, the board was too small,

I wanted to create this on it too actually,

-- I LOVE YOU ALL! YES U! READING THIS RIGHT NOW!

HAVE A NICE DAY!

=)

Not Racist!

Now's the Ramadan Month,

Means,

The Muslim People will have their Fasting.

&

If i'm not mistaken,

This is the month where it is the Holiest.

Holiest = No any bad doings.

Then,

Why on earth would they have this?!

Won't this kind of 'PROMOTION' promote something 'UNHEALTHY'?!!!

=)

100th ONE! - PTS

U know there WAS this thing called PTS.

I dont really know the full name of it.

But it's to enable students to sort of JUMP Standard 4.

N go to Standard 5 from 3.

Oh, well, it sounds pretty gud thing right, in a way.

BUT,

The actual fact,

It's kinda RUBBISH!

I think, they found out that it was bringing more harm to students than good things.

The only good thing I see from PTS is u get to finish school faster, thats ALL!

Now Now,

The RUBBISH-ES that u gain from getting through PTS.

1. Many people reach PUBERTY at the age of 10 or Standard 4, by going to Standard 5 straight, U will tend to miss out one year of puberty.

Imagine this, U go Standard 5, people all know M*STE*B*T*ON already, and u know how to PEE only!

2. I learn alot in Standard 4, like BULLSHITTING, Learn to talk cock, Learn what they learn in standard 4, Plant plants during Kemahiran Hidup, Get more canning, Get to eat canteen food, etc....

If u went straight to standard 5, u wont get the chance to learn to plant trees, eat canteen food, etc... hahahaha!

3. Our mind develop alot on standard 4, like THINK better.

So, if u go straight to 5, ur mind is THINK-LESS!

4. During our time, 4 is where u start SCIENCE.

So, u skipped SCIENCE, how UN-COOL can that get wei!

5. In standard 4, means got go TUITION.

MEANS, get to know MORE 'FRIENDS'! ( CHICKS, BAPUKS, GAY, etc )

6. Was FAT during standard 3, then standard 4 is where u get FIT & LOOSE FATS, when u go 5, u will look good.

IMAGINE, going standard 5 FAT! ;)

7. U talk SPONGEBOB, SUPERMAN, POWER RANGERS, SAILORMOON, BARNEY in standard 3, standard 4 is where u change them into, How I Met Your Mother, High School Musical, P*RN, etc...

Try talking POWER RANGERS in standard 5, people will POW! u away!

Now, U see, there's all the POSITIVE things u loose from STANDARD 4!

Luckily I didnt JUMP that year! *like lar i got the chance*

The worst thing of all, When u grow up to 20, ur friends all will be talking about school years, and standard 4 will be one of them, and u will feel SUPER-LEFT OUT, and u will start to ask urself, *Why didnt i go through that wonderful year?!*

Then u will say,

Shit lar, parents, why did u send me straight to standard 5!!!

=)

Shit!

When u see a pile of Cat/Dog Shit on the Road/Floor ETC..

What will u do??

OPTIONS :-

1. Step on the shit and say 'SHIOT, I stepped on SHIT'

2. Jump over SHIT NO.1 and Land on pile NO.2

3. Avoid the Shit and say 'Eeeee, shit!'

4. Curse the DOG/CAT or HUMAN that left it there.

5. Take that particular Shit and put in on someone's car, porch, etc...

6. Stand N Stare at the SHIT.

7. I DONT REALLY KNOW WAT ELSE WILL PPL DO WHEN THEY SEE SUCH SHIT. ;)

But then,

I WILL.

KILL THE CAT/DOG OR HUMAN THAT LEFT IT THERE, SO, IT WONT EVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

=)

Madness!

What kind of GILER-NESS is this?!

Schedule for Next week.

Tuesday - Measurement Lab Practical Test.

Wednesday - Dynamics Mid Term Test.

Thursday - Dynamics Quiz, Thermodynamics Quiz, Manufacturing Quiz.

Friday - Circuits Mid Term Test.

Saturday - Already in HEAVEN, DEAD!

Even IRONMAN will become SCRAPMAN K!

=/

Inspiration To GO For Lectures??

Sometimes, we have extra interest to attend class all the time.
I'm sure each and every one of u got ur own interest.

We often pass messages through writing on the tables so that others dont notice wat are we actually talking about.

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Hahaha! HOW I WISH WE COULD HAVE THOSE 'TYPE' of 'INTERESTING' THINGS in class.

Then Everyday, even 7AM class, I will be the 1st to be there!

All we have in UNITEN are These!

Thats why, We dont have much desire to attend classes.
We will either PUKE or go BLIND!

=P

Mummy's Birthday.

Last Friday was Mummy's 50th Birthday.

We, (Me & 2 of my sisters) planned out a Surprise for her.

Oh well,

2 of my sisters did most of the planning.

*Not I dont wanna plan, It's coz I was away in Uni k*

The Sisters did all the calling of people, preparation of food, cakes, etc..

*Girls mostly have the natural skills of those things right, not guys*

Now Now,

I held the MOST IMPORTANT part of all k! =P

In every surprise,

The Birthday Person has to be taken out of the hse 1st in order for the plan to go through right?

I did most of the LYING!

I had to LIE to my mum that I wanna go GIANT to buy groceries,

(I normally buy groceries, coz i cook k, hahaha)

But on that particular time, I dont have anything much to buy.

So, Mummy Agreed!

I fetched her there.

I took all the TRAFFIC JAMMED ROADS.

(IN GIANT)

I really had no idea wat to buy or even look for.

So,

I went AISLE to AISLE,

Looking at stuff.

Trying all the perfumes.

Seeing all the cooking stuff, and asked Mummy how to do this and that.

Ended up buying some stuff which I dont even need.

(Please dont practice this, it's not gud for the POCKETS)

I even LINED UP in the SLOWEST Counter.

Throughout the GIANT TRIP.

A few things caught my mother's attention.

And I had to LIE summor to cover up things

Questions She Asked:-

Mum: Why u use all these roads?

ME: No lar, just now I came back from Uni, there all jam coz got accident, so, I thought here no jam.

Mum: How come uncle so-and-so(which is also one of the guests) know that it is my birthday today?

ME: Oh..Er.....I think FACEBOOK lar, surely his anak-anak saw d, then told him.

(COVERED UP EDI)

Mum: Where do ur sisters plan to go for dinner?

ME: I think some dont know wat restaurant in Damansara Or Subang lar.

Upon Reaching Home,

Mum: Eh, neighbour got party is it, so many cars?

ME: YEAH! I think the son's birthday, so ngam wan, same birthday with u!

Then,

The Surprise went through,

She went in the hse, then people starting shouting this and that!

Pictures :-

We got her superb gifts!

Airplane, Chanel Bag, Lipsticks, etc.. hahaha!

The cakes that I mentioned that were made by my sister, It's the cup cakes!

The Children that made it all happen.

1. The Calling One.

2. The One with all the Acting & Lies

3. The Cake Making One.

Last But Not Least ,The ONE for the day & The ONE for the Rest Of OUR Life and also ONE FAMILY!

=)

Syabas!

U know how they normally have this sign board in front of ur school gate.

Well,

I have a sign of my OWN for u guys.

Thank You Readers

=)

Dynamics Class

I'm taking a class called Dynamics.

The lecturer happens to have Prof Dr Ir and some other HU-LA-LA in front of his name.

U can see how pandai he is.

Oh well,

This lecturer is a strict one,

All he wants is perfection in everything.

He expect us to be smart and BLA BLA BLA!

He always have a STERN face on,

It's like how u people wear clothings,

He always put on a GiLeR Strict Face which scares the shit out of me.

He looks like this,

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How I wish he will put on such smile all the time!

I dont actually have his pic, even if i do, I wouldn't post it up, He'll probably give me a big 'D' at the end of the semester.

Now,

Here's the story.

We were having his class.

and

It got kinda NOISY.

and

He got a lil Fed Up!

Then,

He started Shouting,

* CLASS, WHEN I TALK, NO ONE ELSE TALKS*

* whole class goes perfectly silent *

* I was trying SUPER HARD to hold it back *

But I couldn't

Then I burst OUT A BIG FART.

(Imagine the whole class being quiet, and suddenly a BIG FART comes out)

Everyone started LAUGHING,

Even the Full Of Garang-ness Lecturer gave a CUTE laugh!

HAHAHA!

=)

P/S: About the fart thingy, it's just an imaginary scene which I had in my MIND. ;)

Moral Teaching Gone Out The Window!

During Moral class recently,

The Poor Man ( The Lecturer In RED Circle) was talking about girls and guys BERSEKEDUDUKAN together even before marriage.

Then, the lecture went on to BERSETUBUHAN.

While BERSEKEDUDUKAN & BERSETUBUHAN Stories were making a FUSS in front,

This was happening at the back.

After a while of BERSEKEDUDUKAN & BERSETUBUHAN listening,

"SOMEHOW", "SOMETHING" TRIGGERED SOMETHING, They both WHOOSHED out of the class TOGETHER!

(Picture what happens outside urselves =) )

=)

P/S: If anyone of u recognise them, this is just a joke thingy k, dont take it seriously and tell them.