Moody Moody!

=)

My maid is crazy!

My maid!

She's Cambodian!

She dont understand wat we say!

Daddy tells her, " The room got DOG shit, ask her to clean "

She goes and take HAIR DRYER!

She thought bathe the dog!

Then, she's stepping on the POOP and Holding HAIR DRYER and asking my mum, WHERE?!!

=D

I Have a Sanitizer!

I have this very special SANITIZER that was given by the Blood Donation people,

Coz,

I went for BLOOD DONATION!

Use this Sanitizer before u *ehem ehem* to clean ur lil brother to prevent bacteria!

Warning: it does not mean that u wont get STD k!

=)

Flu

A friend,

Caught cold and had flu,

This was his reason,

" I slept late lar, doing assignment, today, i go back sleep alot, confirm no more flu! "

I didnt know such thing existed! hahaha!

=)

Inter Course!

I was explaining to my sister about a sports thingy that i attended recently.

SIS: U got win meh, that day u went that competition?

HJ: Yeah! We won wert! 1st summor!

SIS: Wat competition is that?

HJ: It's an INTER-COURSE competition. *after a few seconds, oh! INTERCOURSE!*

hahahaha!!!

Everyone started laughing!

Dirty oh dirty MIND!

=)

Reading

The national library of Malaysia carried out this survey for a few years already.

It's a survey to see how many books Malaysians read in a year or something.

In 2009, the average was 2 books per year!

Then,

This year, 2010, got improvement, averagely, 7 BOOKS!

I guess,

They kinda cheat on the results!

I NEVER read a single book for SO MANY YEARS already,

&

They are saying that i averagely read 7 a year???

I think, most of u dont read also!

+)

Small girl

Recently,

I went for Dim Sum.

&

There was a family sitting in the next table.

That family happened to have lil kids.

There was this lil girl,

Maybe 2 or 3 years old.

She was walking around.

Then she saw me!

The moment she saw me,

She pull up her dress, to show me her stomach!

DO I HAVE THE WORD "HAMSAP" written over my head????

=)

Muscle.

This conversation took place one nice day!

GUY: U know which muscle in our body is the strongest?

HANJIEN: *Thinks deep down inside, surely our lil brother* YES! I know! Our lil brother is the strongest muscle lar! so easy!

GUY: No lar! the strongest muscle is out TONGUE!

HANJIEN: WTH! is tongue even a muscle? okayy okayy, maybe it is! BUT WHY???!!

*i asked him the following*

HANJIEN: Can tongue HARDEN & GROW Longer??!!! Can tongue shoot our STUFFSS??!!! Can tongue make babies??!!! Maybe it can satisfy something lar, but still, its not the strongest muscle!

GUY: OKIE LAR OKIE LAR! Lil Brother is the Strongest MUSCLE K!

=)

Too Much Texting!

Tuesday,
I went outstation with daddy to see something.
I was TEXTING through the whole journey ( u urself know who ya =P )
While I was driving and not driving also I texted.
I kinda knew my dad realised and he wanted to say something,
But he didnt.
Then,
When daddy was driving,
I was reading newspaper & TEXTING!
&
I came across this lil thing

















I quickly HID the news thingy from my dad,
If he sees, He surely will say something wan!

People out there,
Dont TEXT TOO MUCH, It's DANGEROUS!

=)

Handphone Store

On a nice Saturday afternoon,
I went to a Handphone Store to BORROW some handphones.
It was super packed,
Until I could just sneak out a PHONE without anyone noticing!
Unfortunately,
Almost successfully at the exit with a stolen phone, I got caught!
Damm!!



Okie okie,
I got carried away.

It was super packed,
Grandson buying phone for grandfather,
Teacher buying phone for students,
Ppl buying phone for maids,
Ppl buying phone for the sales ppl.
&
This,
Parents buying phone for their SON!

While the son was looking through the phone,
The MUM said this,
" If u want this phone, u gotta 'blablabla' first.

Then the SON,
*takes up his right hand* ( i thought he wanted to slap his mum)
" I PROMISE TO MASTERBATE everyday " ( just JK)

Real one,
" I PROMISE TO STUDY HARD "

Then the MUM,
" WHAT?? I cannot hear U "

SON,
" Cannot hear ar?? okie lor, dont buy lor!!, u think i need the phone? =P "

No lar,
The son repeated again the whole thing.
&
They parents finally bought him the phone.

So easy to get new things nowadays,
All u have to do is take up right hand, & LIE!

Next time,
I'll say " I PROMISE TO BE A GOOD BOY! "
&
My mummy will BUY ME A HOUSE! WOHOOO!

=)

Board Game!

Me Is Back!

Recently, I went to A BOARD GAME PLAYING place.

It's quite a cool place to hang out!
Since,
It's playing board games.
(Not only Monopoly K!)

The staff there kinda introduced to us a game called BANG!
(the moment he said that BANG! word, I wanted to laugh edi, try to think dirty k)






















Then,
We played.
&
He kinda explained here and there about the game.

The main purpose is BANG!-ING! ur targets which is also means Shooting him or her.


He started the 1st move.
&
There were girls playing also.
The guy was like,

"OK~! Now I wanna BANG! U! *points to one of the girl*.


I really wanted to LAUGH!
It's like, so easily can BANG! a girl! hahahaha! (Police wont catch u meh?)


There was an option to avoid the shooting of ur opponents,
It's like,
When ur oppenent BANG! U, U can simply use a thing called MISSED!
Means, the BANG!-ING! process MISSES!


How nice if we can practice this steps in real life!

A guy can simply go up to a girl n say, I WANNA BANG! U!
&
If the girl has the power, SHE CAN SAY MISSED! ( means the guy cannot BANG the girl, *if only rapists understand such terms*)

=)

On Break!

Cheat Money!

During one midnight,
I parked my car,
I saw one Parking Ticket Machine.
I thought they dont operate at nights.
If not, the Hantu's will come SAMAN!
So,
I inserted coins!
&
They actually work at night!
WTH!





















See!
Tipu MONEY!

=)

Guys and Toilet.

For guys,

U might face this all the time.

For girls,

Have this as a lil extra piece of info!

When we guys enter a toilet to PEE!

When there's another guy using 1, we wont go and use 2.

We will either use 3 or wait for the person in front to finish.

Simply because there is NO WALL IN BETWEEN 1 & 2.

The thing is,

We guys have something hanging out of us.

&

We dont like others to TER-LOOK at our PISTOL!

It's like,

They will KNOW how POWERFUL our gun is

&

They will SHOOT us!

On the other hand.

Girls,

When they go toilet,

They will have one room to themselves.

We guys, should be having rooms

&

Girls use the URINERS that guys are using now.

Simply coz,

Girls got ntg hanging out of them.

&

The girl beside peeing SIMPLY CANNOT see urs

&

U cannot see hers!

Coz,

BOTH ALSO HIDDEN!

LETS SWAP TOILETS GIRLS!

=)

7-11!

Last Saturday,

I went to 7-11 to get reloads.

While waiting for the worker to key in the codes for the reloads.

An Indian Man came in with a knife.

He started shouting for stuff,

But,

He shouted in Tamil,

So,

We had no idea wat he wanted,

Then I took some mineral water bottles and threw at him!

He cried,

&

He left!

hahahaha!

*joking k*

Actual story,

An indian man,

After taking drinks from the fridge,

At the counter,

He reached his hands out to grab a box on condoms as though they were sweets.

*I could sense SHYNESS in his face*

The 7-11 worker kinda acted a lil weird and looked at me,

I bet she had this in her mind,

*dude, he's buying condoms! he's gonna ehem ehem!*

I must admit,

I felt the awkwardness in buying condoms!

But then again,

We have to PROMOTE HEALTHY SEX!

So,

People,

Do USE CONDOM K!

=)

Moral Exam!

So,

We were studying for MORAL EXAM!

The last paper of all.

The lecturer sorta gave us the QUESTIONS before hand!

&

We were going through the net for answers.

One of the questions were ' 4 KEBENARAN MULIA BUDDHA '

&

We went through the net,

&

We found this!

*not so mulia of ppl*

Dont get me wrong!

I'm not insulting or making fun of RELIGION!

I'm a Buddhist myself n I love it!

=)

POOKY Panther!

Pink Panther!

I never really liked him tho.

Don't know why!

Each time I see him,

I just feel like YERH!!!

Now I know why I hate him all these while!

Now!

I know why I dont like HIM!

He's A HORNY IDIOT!

=)

P/S : I'M BACK!

Will Be Back!

=)

Energizer Baby!

According to some people!

Quite a number actually,

I came across them.

They tell me that,

They can SLEEP MINIMAL for a few days.

Then,

The following few days,

They sleep NON-STOP!

Oh well,

U might think its normal,

But,

The truth is,

No human exists as such form k!

U think ur're A BLOODY BEAR!

Hibernate for dam long time!

WTH!

Or rather,

A RECHARGABLE ENERGIZER battery.

with a phrase of 'Long Lasting Action'

U use up all the power at once, then u recharge??

Dont be stupid lar!

If u really think u are like that, Then Almighty is having a Tough Time charging ur power at once!

=)

Paris Hilton!

U know recently,

Paris Hilton was supposed to come down to Malaysia for a Promo thingy.

&

She cancelled it last minute coz she was caught up in SOMEWHERE

Oh well,

Finally,

She did managed to come down to Malaysia.

&

Me and few of my friends managed to go see her!

(How lucky is that right?)

PARIS HILTON !!!

Maybe u dont believe me that I actually met her!
Here are the PROOF k!

See! Told u! I saw her!

Me & Phileas took pictures with her!

I even got to put my hands around her shoulders!! *SO LUCKY!*

My friend,JUSTIN, even scolded her for being so NAUGHTY all the time!

Finally, she got tired of talking to us,
She asked me to DO ACUPUNTURE on her!
( ACUPUNTURE = POKING! )

So,
I comply to her request!
( If ur're UNDERAGE! please dont see the following things K)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

I couldnt find any needles,
Obviously, I cannot poke her with ehem ehem
So,
I used the RESISTORS i found from LAB? ahhahaha
&
I Poked her!
I know they look like SHE'S HAIRY! *No no, she's pretty SHAVED*

It's ACUPUNCTURE! Not HAIRY K!

SORRY FOR THE RUBBISHES!

We were kinda CRAZY from the late night STUDYING! N i suddenly had PARIS HILTON zooommm passed my mind!

=)

Big tummy guy from the previous post!

If u happened to see the previous post,

The big tummy guy with the specs,

The one which commited suicide and didnt die.

Well,

His name is Ying Yang.

We happen to have this conversation.

( I wasnt wearing shirt, bra, etc)

Ying Yang: Eh!! Ur nipple very sexy lar!

Han Jien: *in a happy mood, walks towards him*

Ying Yang: Can I LICK AR?

Yeah! Yeah!

He'll probably,

LICK & SUCK,

&

I will make milk for him

Thts why he has a big tummy!

=)

Lil Story about two BIG GUYS!

Once upon a time,

There were two guys,

One named CHICK

&

The other KEN.

They both are QUITE BIG in TUMMY size.

They owe the big tummys to FOOD, Girlfriend (Lay Fong, If ur're reading this, U faham-faham lar k!)

Having BIG TUMMY bring both pros and cons.

The bad thing is,

When these two people attend classes together,

This happens,

As u see, they got stuck at the door while entering a class.

Then, they EMO-ED!

Due to this,

One of them decided to COMMIT SUICIDE.

So, he jumped,

(OPSSIE!)

&
Jump!

&
He finally reached the ground!

Amazingly,
he didnt die,
but he suffered some knee damage

On the other hand,
The other BIG TUMMY guy,
decided to just sleep it off!

FAT & BIG TUMMY people are SPECIAL!

*Thats why, people who commit suicide n die are mostly THIN PEOPLE!*

=)

Adam Lambert in Malaysia.

No,

I did not get to attend the concert,

Because, i'm a poor guy!

OR

I was afraid that I would be WHACKED by protestors.

1st of all,

It's kinda silly to have such protest because people there already bought their tickets,

&

They mmg wanna attend his concert.

Oh well,

I wont condemn the PROTEST,

I will be like them then.

They do have their reasons for the protest,

I respect it,

But not do it like that.

I dont want people to see my face, coz, when the concert starts, I will take it off & HAVE A BLAST AT THE CONCERT, *I bought first row tickets*

Now,

The protestors kinda like ADAM I think

They referred him as BELIAU.

Cool Cool.

This is wat I came up with.

Titles from ADAM'S songs.

Adam: I would say I it's impossible to perform in MALAYSIA with 'No Boundaries'

Protestors: 'If I Had You', we will all turn into GAYS.

Adam: I want to perform 'For Your Entertainment'. So, 'Wataya Want From Me'?

=)

Random in Cinema.

Have u tried this?

Enter a Cinema,

Take out ur shirt and watch the movie?

( apply to guys only lar k, if u girls wanna do it, be sure to ajak me, I WILL PAY FOR UR TICKET, POPCORNS, EVERYTHING!)

Oh well, I did it recently, COZ it was HOT in there!

During horror movie,

Surely got some QUIET scenes,

Where everything just goes ZZZZZZ! ( U can even hear people FART!)

&

They wait for the GHOST to AHHHH!

&

People will start MOANING as tho they got Tickled by the Ghost.

During the QUIET part,

U can hear a Loud, Deep SNORE!

Thats from HAN JIEN & HIS FRIENDS.

The other day,

I went for a movie.

A 'couple' was sitting at the side, where there are only two seats.

They started SMOOCHINGGGG!!! CHINGGG!!!

The girl was SUPER HOT! Super Model Type!

(Trust me guys, Ur lil brother will SHOOT! even if u never touch him)

&

The guy! OH MY!! He's not only handsome, CARRY DSLR, wear nice shirt, STYLE THE HAIR)

&

'He' shared similarities with the GIRL, which is PUSSY, BOOBS, BRA, Period 'TABLE' etc....

*Disappointing World we live in*

=)

Finals!

Finals is in 8 days time!

Always u'll see this,

When it's week 16/16 in a Semester, everyone will start rushing to STUDY, ASK QUESTIONS here and there, Photocopy past papers.. etc...

They will be like HEAD-Less Chicken running in A MARATHON!

Oh well,

I know this coz I am like that also.

(We are only human)

Abnormal human beings or ALIENS will do this,

During week 1/16 in a semester, they will be studying FOR FINALS!

Then, when it reaches week 16/16, they will be lepaking, making out n stuff.

Actually, we should all be like that!

GOOD'S LUCK'S TO'S ALL'S PEOPLE'S if ur having exams, n if ur're not, then good luck for ur future exams!

=)

Poor Guys.

As life goes.

Guys cannot CHEAT on their Partners.

While

Girls, Ladies, Women CAN! Cheat on their partners.

When a MAN has 2 partners at once,

Upon caught by either partner.

She will immediately leave the guy,

Actually,

Both ladies will LEAVE that guy.

When a lady cheats and have two guys at once,

Upon finding out,

Only ONE will leave.

The other will surely STAY!

This kind of situations are similar to KEY & THE LOCK.

Ladies RESEMBLE the LOCK, (Somehow, due to the 'HOLE' thing)

Guys RESEMBLE the KEYS, (Somehow, due to the hanging thing that they have)

A LOCK can have "MULTIPLE KEYS" to open it.

But,

A key can only OPEN ONE LOCK.

If,

A key tries to open other locks, they will be CAUGHT!

The 2nd Similarity is ARROWS & THE TARGET.

Ladies RESEMBLE the TARGET

Guys RESEMBLE the ARROWS ( Somehow, guys have one SHARP POINTY thingy)

A TARGET ( Ladies) can have MULTIPLE ARROWS 'INSIDE' them

But,

One Arrow can only 'PENETRATE' one Target.

If the arrow tries to 'SHOOT' more targets at once, it has to BREAK into two( Which is IMPOSSIBLE)

Ladies,

Please have MERCY on us guys.

We dont have the BENEFIT to CHEAT & GAIN from it.

While girls CAN!

=)

Marks That Fell From The Sky.

I had this Dynamics Class Assignment.

It's sorta like a TEST.

It consists of 15% of the overall 100% of that particular subject.

Oh well,

Since it was IN THE CLASS,

&

We sat as close as SIAMESE TWINS.

We not only sat close,

We even had the convenience of DISCUSSION!

After some Discussions,

A few of us came up with an answer.

(Oh well, after few ppl agreeing, it must the right answer, RIGHT??)

So,

The few pair of SIAMESE TWINS of us,

Wrote down the SAME ANSWERS.

&

Passed Up happily, "KNOWING" that we will SCORE!

A week later,

We got back out PAPERS.

As u can see, we got all WRONG.

X here and there!

OKAY!

Now the best PART,

After all the WRONGS!

I got,

I got a 10/15!

Hahahaha!

I dont know where did the marks came out from.

( I didnt Bullshit my marks K, I didnt use liquid paper, photoshop or wat so ever)

=)

Commonwealth Commentary

If u watch the live telecast commonwealth thingy on TV, Channel 1

RTM 1.

Then u will know wat i'm saying.

The commentator,

Likes to change the athlete's names.

Dinesh - DANISH. (That guy happened to be from SRI LANKA, but they change him to some white fella from white country)

Megan Dunn - MEGAN TAN.

Leng Louis - LENG LUI'S. (I was thinking, where got LENG LUI, wat the hell is this fella talking about, Guy playing, but keep on Leng Lui Leng Lui)

Shane Perkins - SHAME PERKINS

Josiah Ng - JOSIAH ANG

A particular Commentator was talking about a Cycling Event.

When the cyclist started off, he had this GRRRR face on him, as he was trying very hard to accelerate.

Our dear Commentator was saying this,

"Ahhh Ahh, Kini dia mula! *grrrrrr* kayuhhannya *grrr* yang *grrrr* sungguh kuat *grrrrrr* "

(He was practically grinning also, wat the hell u share the same grin as cyclist for? )

2nd one. Ping Pong game.

Wahh! Back hand yang amat baik sekali.

Lagi satu back hand screw yang amat tajam.

Ya ya, ohhhh.... Lu punya cibai lar, tak tahu bagi return yang lebih bagus?!!

Nenek saya boleh bagi return yang lebih Mahai lar.

Bodoh! Bodoh! balik rumah main burung lar, main ping pong pulak!

(I just simply created the 2nd one)

+)

P/S: Malaysian Commentary will keep u entertain. They are LAME LAME LAME ppl.

Swimming Student.

Me and another few people conduct swimming classes in uni.

&

I happened to teach students who 'were' practically scared of water.

&

One of them has a body that potray a ROCK! STONE!

He's like DAM DAM DAM stiff! Cannot seem to relax.

Oh well,

He was doing kicking,

After a million times of teaching,

Questions were thrown at him,

Question: Eh, U know wat are ur legs doing or not?

Stone Guy: Er, hehehehe, I dont know wor.

*I was like, WTH! U dont know ur own leg*

HanJien: Then U know, when ur Birdie Go HARD HARD, U know or not?

Stone Guy: OH! YES!! I know I know.

HanJien: Then when u 'SHOOT', U know or not?

Stone Guy: hahaha! YES! YES! I know!

HanJien: Then, U know wat u do till u SHOOT? * While showing hand up n down ;) *

Stone Guy: ER ER ER ER! Yes, I know!

HanJien: THEN! Why u dont bloody know wat is going on with ur legs??!!!

Stone Guy: Very easy! My BIRDIE, One Batang only, but my legs Two Batang!!

People are dam smart nowadays!

+)

Fish!

We were having dinner.

&

We had FISH as one of the dishes.

While eating the fish.

My friend said this,

" Eh, the meat in the fish FACE part is the NICEST "

I started LAUGHING.

By definition from the WEB, face means,

the front of the human head from the forehead to the chin and ear to ear; "he washed his face"; "I wish I had seen the look on his face when he got the news"

All I know is that fishes have HEAD. Not FACE.

Imagine this,

FISH HEAD Curry -> FISH FACE Curry.

FISH HEAD Fried Noodles -> FISH FACE Fried Noodles.

The Fish is a very special animal. They have FACE. U see the CHEEKS, CHIN, FOREHEAD(Flower Horn).

Since, in terms of my friend, HEAD = FACE. Then, FACEBOOK = HEADBOOK!

=)

P/S: When u see someone with a FISHY LOOK. 'DUDE! U got FISH FACE'

Daddy!

Daddy came

&

We talked about studies.

He asked,

How are studies?

I said,

Oh! Studies? EASY PEASY lar! haiyo, u know me, I'm Han Jien wert, UR SON! How hard can it get?

*okie okie, I was just joking k, i didnt say such things*

I really said this,

I'm super STRESSED up, dam difficult semester, gonna die edi lar.

Dad said,

Oh, if u can say difficult, then crazy edi.

*I'm so flattered*

*The best part is this*

He then continue with this,

Haiya, take it EASY lar, Chill. Cannot ma dont force lar. FAIL MA FAIL lar. No worries.

hahaha!

So nicey! Daddy is asking me to fail!

I guess, deep down inside, he knows I wont fail! CHEH!!

=)

Guys need Girls, Girls Need Guys.

U guys might think, NO! we are egoistic ppl, we dont need girls, WE CAN Master8ate ourselves.

U girls might think, NO! we can live on our OWN two feet. WE CAN have test tube babies!

YES! YES! Either one is also CORRECT.

But then,

U gotta see this,

Girls are smarter, (I admit)

Without dumb guys,

How can girls say that they are SMARTER? Takkan girls wanna compare with Animals right?

With girls,

Guys can also say that they are 'dumber' than girls.

Guys can carry BRICKS,

Girls cannot, but, girls can carry BROOMS & MOPS.

Guys build the HOUSE,

Girls can help clean it up.

Girls can CAMWHORE,

Guys can CAMWHORE too!

Without guys, girls wont Camwhore.

Same,

Without girls, guys wont Camwhore.

(It would serve no purpose to Camwhore for ur own gender to see)

Guys need Girls to give birth and take care of babies.

Girls still need the ' Lil Soldiers ' of guys to ' make the war happen '.

Girls need money from guy to be able to say this, "Husband's money is also Wife's money"

Guys HAVE to give money to the wife to follow, "Husband's money is also Wife's money"

U might not be convinced,

But still,

Carry on with ur 'THINKING'.

All I'm saying is that,

Girls needs Guys as much as Guys needs Girls.

Thats why! The world is ROUND, not square!

=)

Ben 10

U touch my car,

I POW!! POW!! POW!! u with BEN 10 powers!

Try me baby!

Kids nowadays are so lucky.

Parents will do what ever it takes to make their children happy.

Even,

Sticking such a big BEN10 sticker on their cars.

Last time,

Stick one small hello kitty sticker INSIDE the car also kena makan Rotan edi.

Imagine one of this BEN10 stickers ended up on a LAMBORGHINI!

=)

Newspaper 2

If u happened to read the newspaper.

There is a news on a couple being sent to jail and some correction school.

Their criminal act was 'intentionally abandoning a baby'.

They guy was sentenced to jail

&

The girl was sent to a correction place.

Both of them asked for lighter sentences.

The guy said,

I learnt my mistakes & I will marry the girl after this, give me shorter jail term.

The girl said,

Please dont send me to that school, got alot of lesbians there. *just joking*

She said,

Please dont send me to that school, I'm so horny now, I have to let my baby suck it off. *just joking*

She really said this,

Please dont send me to that school, because I'm breastfeeding the baby.

Ya! Ya! Ya!

When u both decided to throw away the baby,

Did u thought of marrying the girl???

Did u thought of breastfeeding the baby???

NOOOOO!!

All u wanted was, to go have sex with another girl.

&

Go breastfeed other GUYS instead of that poor baby!

Serve U two right!

Wanna fulfill LUST,

Baby come out edi,

Throw away,

Kena Caught,

Now have to go jail edi,

Give Bullshit excuses!

Hope ur Jail Term gets extended.

P/S: Ppl, please dont do such shits!

=)

Badminton Racquet.

Recently,

While playing Badminton,

I BROKE my racquet,

&

N it broke my heart! =(

Nevermind!

I got a new idea on which racquet to get.

This racquet only cost RM13!

Am gonna try to use this RACQUET.

Made from steel strings, wont break.

Cost LOW.

Even if break a few,

I dont mind.

Even the NATIONAL Team Players.

Can start to use this RACQUET.

Then, they will become WORLD & OLYMPIC CHAMPIONS.

Coz,

Example,

When Lee Chong Wei plays Lin Dan.

&

Chong Wei uses this racquet.

When he hits the shuttle to Lin Dan,

He will ZAP! it with electricity.

When the shuttle hits Lin Dan's Racquet,

He will get electrocuted and he will be stunned for a while,

(Yea Yea! Lin Dan kena ZAPPED! WOHOO!)

Therefore,

Giving Chong Wei the advantage!

WAHLAH!

WORLD & OLYMPIC CHAMPION BABY!!

=)

A Newspaper Report.

MUAR: A teenager nicknamed Mat Tetek who went around harassing women by squeezing their breasts and even flashing his private parts has been arrested.

The 17-year-old youth, who came from Kluang (LUCKILY NOT KLANG) to live with his elder sister in Kampung Parit Yusof here, was detained after police tracked the motorcycle he used to terrorise his victims.

Muar police chief Asst Comm Mohammed Nasir Ramli said the youth first molested a 22-year-old woman motorcyclist near a petrol kiosk in Parit Jawa on Wednesday.

He said the youth approached the woman and when she slowed down, he touched her breasts and sped off when she shouted.

The woman managed to note down the motorcycle registration number and passed the information to the police.

“On Thursday, the youth terrorised four more women, including one near a bus stop by squeezing their breasts,” ACP Mohammed Nasir told reporters here yesterday.

He said the youth even flashed his private parts at a 49-year-old woman at about 7.15am.

He said the youth also snatched a handbag from one of the victims, adding that police detained him at his sister’s house at about 8.50pm on Thursday.

This caught my attention.
Not because of the dirty things that he does.

I guess,

His tactics are like that.

1st, he will go up to the lady.

Then, GRAB the Boobs or wat so ever.

Then,

When the girl screams.

He will take out his weapon (in this case, his lil brother)

Then,

He will stuff it in the girls mouth to Gag her!

Then,

He will Snatch away the handbag.

I feel like killing him in one way or another.

Sampart People we have in this world.

Ladies, Please be careful.

P/S: If ever such a thing happen to u, a guy FORCEFULLY put his 'LIL BROTHER' into ur mouth, PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! ( Promise me, u'll do this) BITE THAT PIECE OF SHIT OFF! Let that idiot suffer. It will save ur life!

=)

Tips Of No Help.

A lecturer came in the class.

Said this to us,

" Class, I will now give u all the tips for the QUIZ on Chapter 13 "

Everybody goes,

" YES! Got tips, hahahaha! "

Lecturer then started to give tips.

All the students,

Including me,

Started to copy wat he said.

As time goes on,

The things that we copied became MORE & MORE.

Until it reached almost,

ONE PAGE OF A4 paper.

At the end of it all,

He finished.

When we finally came to OUR DUMB SENSES.

He gave tips that COVERED EVERYTHING in that Topic.

What an ASS fella!

Mind as well,

Just tell us to study everything!

SAKAI U lecturer.

=)

Too Much Of Differentiation In LIFE!

When u have too much Calculus, DIFFERENTIATION in LIFE!

All sorts of things will go through ur mind.

Like the following.

( U gotta understand basic differentiation to get it, even form 4 will do)

Rate of change of V in terms of t.

OR

Change of something on the top DEPENDING on something of the BOTTOM.

EXAMPLES:-

The rate of ur FAILURE in STUDIES depending on HOW much u FACEB*OK.

The Rate of SMARTNESS u'll be in TERMS of How Much U STUDY!

How FAT u'll be In Terms of HOW MUCH U EAT.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Now Now, I'm sure u got wat I mean already.

If ur're underage, please exit now,

If u want to see further,

GO ON OWN RISK !

Happy LEARNING MORE!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

The Rate of How Fast A Guy Will Reach Climax Depends on HOW HARD THE GIRL BANGED HIM!

How Loose ............................................................*understand it urself*

The rate of How Fast Dick Hardens in terms of How Sexy The Girl Is!

=)

Jam & Toilet!

While driving,
On a JAMMED highway.
JAM is super long!
Car Petrol sign keep on coming out on the dashboard!
Wanna go toilet dam badly,
The PEE stayed on closed door for 30mins edi.
The next PETROL STATION is 30mins away.
All u have is a bottle.


This HAPPENS!

















>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>























PROBLEM SOLVED!
Super Car! Can move on PEE!

Then,
When u reached home!
Mummy tells u that

The Petrol Indicator Spoil already!

=)